Friends Drag Me Out of Feeling Funky

The past two weeks have been enlightening. I think I understand better what Ed has been feeling, looking for a job and not finding anything. Until yesterday, I hadn't heard a peep on a single job I'd applied for. Then I got a "Thanks, but no thanks" letter back on a job that I'd applied to last week. At least they sent one (it was a long shot, anyway).

The malaise is not welcome. I'm usually chipper (Mary Poppins, anyone?) and this depressing mood is all consuming. It's hard to get motivated to do anything. The ADHD that has been easy to manage in the past is now consuming my brain. There are a lot of non sequitirs floating around. I've made a promise to myself that once I've got health benefits again, I will get medical treatment for it.

Meanwhile, I have incredible friends. They're rallying around, whether across town or across country. Pep talks, funny emails and today, a dinner invite. I've been blessed on that front-the quality of the people around me? Amazing.

Yesterday, I bit the bullet and completed that SSI application. How could I not, with so many cheerleaders behind me on this one. Everyone is saying the same thing "You won't get approved the first time, big deal. Appeal." If my doctor has told me that most people with the vascular issue are on disability, why am I fighting it?

If I caved into my self doubts, I wouldn't have bothered with it. Those friends? They're all telling me I should, that I'll succeed on that front. Now I sit and wait for an answer. Those friends? They're giving me a lot of hope that this WILL come out in my favor.

I'm optimistic, for the first time in a couple of weeks. Should I be approved, it means I can go back to college and finish a degree. It'd be good to focus all my energy on the classes, rather than whether I'll make enough money to pay the bills.

To my cheering section, thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me that you're all there. To borrow from another blogging friend, Love Ya. Mean It.


Holly said…
Hang in there Suzanne! Things have a way of working themselves out. A great job will come your way- it's out there.
klasieprof said…
Yes. Do the SSI thing. It killed me here in Michigan when our former Gov. made a big deal of "shuttin down the welfare state"...all that happened is that drug addicts, etc were put on the SSI rolls. and have to be persistent, but you will get it, and it will make everyone's life gentler.

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