Always With Me

Since my parents are both gone, there are times where I feel like I need them with me when something is important. I know they are always there, but something tangible, something that engages the senses.

Like my first day back to college, I had on a necklace dad gave me and earrings mom gave me. It's like a talisman, something that gives me a good feeling, makes me realize I can do anything. That they're involved in what's going on, even if they don't walk the earth anymore. Does that make sense?

I'd bought a twinset to wear for the interview. Any woman worth her salt will tell you that pearls must be worn with a twinset. So, out came the pearls. When I was 16, one of my great aunts passed away. My Nana and Mom were going through her apartment, getting things ready for Goodwill that she hadn't earmarked for others. Mom mentioned to Nana that I said I wanted a set of pearls about a year before that. Come Christmas morning, my mom pulled out a box and gave me this gorgeous simple strand of pearls. They're pretty heavy and the nerves in the neck notice the weight, so it was like I felt Mom there with me.

Now, the cologne. I happened on Lauren when I started college and it was the only fragrance I wore for a long time. My Dad fed into that by getting me the more expensive items in the line for special occasions, and this huge bottle of cologne was under the tree a month before he passed. Yes, I have a 21 year old bottle of cologne, because I save it for special occasions. Yesterday, I knew I had to wear the cologne, to have that piece of Dad with me.

I know the interview went well all because of what I did, but those two things were a metaphysical security blanket.

I got the job, a full time position in my career. I know if they were here, they'd be happy for me. Just as I was happy to have their presence in a small way.


Saffa Chick said…

I'm sure your parents helped you, if only because you knew you were loved ;-)

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