When the Solid Excrement Hits The Oscillating Cooling Device

The hospital called Jane several times this morning. "Your mother's release paperwork has been signed by her doctor. You need to come pick her up." The patient that is incoherent, incontinent and cannot get out of a bed unassisted is going to be sent home to live with someone who is marginally able to care for herself, so long as Ed or I make food and run errands? Right.

Jane couldn't handle the phone calls, they were upsetting her, and she shut down again. The social worker was then told them to call me. This was after Jane cried on the phone and told them that she can't take her at home several times. She's devastated that she can't do for her Mom what Mom did for Nana. The social worker played the guilt card "Shouldn't you be a good daughter and bring her home?" Finally, I happened to call while she was on the phone with them the third time and told her to have them call me.

I called the lawyer's office, leaving a message to tell her about the phone calls and that we were refusing to accept the release. I wanted to know if there is anything else we needed to do. Forty-five minutes later, the social worker finally called me. I pulled out the NY nasty card on her. Everything she said got thrown back at her. We cannot care for her, The Elder Abuse laws in this state will put the burden on Jane and prosecute her if mom comes home and falls out of bed. the only way she can come home is if you make sure there is 24 hour care in the home, Jane's drivers license has been revoked by her doctor due to her disabilities, she will NOT be coming to pick Mom up today or any day, Put it to you this way-if this was a patient with no one else in the home, would you be releasing her?, so, if Virginia needed to go to the bathroom on Monday, you're saying she'd have to wait until the home health aide showed up on Wednesday to do so?" and finally, I understand you will be charging for additional days. Go right ahead, I'm still not picking her up.

What I understand is that if a bill comes in Mom's name, and she has no income or assets, they can eat static. So threaten me all you want, idiotic social worker, I can't be held financially liable for this, but I could be criminally liable if something happens to her at home after discharge because she was released from care before she could get into a nursing home.

In the interim, I had to explain to Jane that if she's having issues with these phone calls, then she should NOT be designated as the PoA. I had to be the bitch again, pointing out that if Jane is in the hospital herself, how the hell is she going to answer for mom's needs? Point was taken, but she screwed up the paperwork.

I went back to the lawyer to drop off Jane's paperwork and redo Mom's with Ed as primary Durable Power of Attorney and me as secondary. This way, Mom doesn't freak out so much, but I'll be making all the decisions, as both Ed and Jane say that I am better at dealing with this crap.

At the office this afternoon, the lawyer asked me several pointed questions, because she perceived that Jane wasn't comprehending what was going on yesterday. I explained that Jane asked if we were going over to the hospital to get Mom to sign the PoA right away-she didn't get that our lawyer HAD to do it. Jane also said "I'll use money out of the account to fix the van", when the lawyer specifically said we couldn't, since the van would probably never be used for Mom's transportation needs anymore.

The lawyer seems to think the same way that I've been thinking, that we're not going to get a PoA signed. It's most likely we'll be doing an emergency guardianship. It's going to be expensive, but in the long run, it's better to spend it and know that things are well in hand.

After leaving there, I went the other location of the assisted/skilled care place Jane and I visited on Tuesday. This one is strictly Alzheimer's and memory care. Both locations are very nice and the vibe is good.

Another relative brought up a good point. We've been charged with spending down the small savings account Mom has on things for Mom. Her wishes are to be cremated and buried in the plot with Ed's dad at a veteran's cemetery. My job on Monday is to contact them to see how much that would cost and pay for a prepaid burial out of the funds.

Oh, and I spoke with Medicare about an Appeal, since Mom's horrible PPO refuses to let her go to a nursing home. It bought us a few days to get stuff squared away. I was avoiding the hospital since they started bugging us about bringing her home-I didn't want to open that can of worms. Now that we have an appeal in place, we're heading over there tomorrow to give his mom a head's up that the lawyer will be visiting.

I want a big drink...


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