Wednesday, February 06, 2008

My life on a game show

(with apologies to Monty Hall)

Today, I am chosen from the studio audience to be a contestant on "Let's See What Works on Your Leg Today". This is a special game show for medical freaks with various unexplained vascular issues that are not responding to the normal treatments.

For treatment options today, I get to choose from the lovely cart of medical supplies:
Drawer number one: The Unna Boot
Drawer number two: the Oasis, Acticoat or Proform Light
Drawer number three: The debridement crap
or Drawer number four: DuoDERM

I get asked "Have we used the DuoDerm on you before?" We haven't, but we HAVE tried all the other things. Of course, I choose from the yet untested Drawer number four! (and the crowd approves of the choice, while the hostess and contestant laugh at the insanity of it all)

Of course, the requisite questioning must occur before I can claim my prize: "Are you allergic to anything in this?" (Hmm, don't know) "Will the adhesive bother you?" (Probably, but why shouldn't it? Everything else does!) and "Do you want to give it a try?" (Heck yeah, you've got something I haven't USED yet! This is such a rare event!)

**At this point, I am hearing Rod Roddy in my head offering all the disclaimers that would be stated at this point in the show. The studio audience will receive a copy of the home game and if you'd like to be a part of the studio audience, send your self addressed, stamped envelopes to: Let's See What Works on Your Leg Today, Box 350, Boston MA 02134 (oops, Zoom is the only address I remember)

No, I didn't win a grand prize, but ten minutes of the DuoDERM on my leg didn't result in me itching or hurting, so that's pretty darn close to winning, don't you think? My lovely hostess sends me home with a parting gift of some DuoDERMs of my own and an invitation to play the game again next Tuesday.

P.S. The DuoDERM has been on my leg for 10 hours and I am NOT itching. Cautiously Optimistic. I also showed my lovely hostess that if you google "Unna Boot Picture", my blog shows up in the first page of results. Wonder what that means for DuoDERM?

1 People talked back:

Angie said...

Doesn't sound like a very fun game show. Glad the DuoDERM is helping though. Take care.