Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Lost in Translation

If there's anything I've learned in having to be involved in Jane's affairs, it's 'trust, but verify.' Scratch that, it's more like 'don't trust, but verify.'

Last week, Ed got the call from the Assisted Living facility "Come get the cat and Jane is not welcome back." We understood them. She does not comply with ANY instructions her doctors give, nor does she follow any of the instructions that the home health aides give her.

Heck, the story about what lead to the hospitalization came to light the other night and we're both dumbfounded. Apparently, she ran out of insulin either Wednesday or Thursday. Publix does deliveries to this ALF, so all she had to do was call in the prescription. She also could have mentioned this information to any number of the CNA's or staffers that visit her throughout the day. She didn't.

Why, you ask? She said she was 'embarrassed' that she'd forgotten to get it. Then, she also said that she was busy with other stuff, like straightening up the apartment.

So, let me get this straight: cleaning the apartment or avoiding embarrassment is more important than providing your body with a necessary hormone? The comment was "you know what that's like, right? "

Frankly, no. (I have a blog and I put embarrassing stuff on here, so I'm willing to share my mistakes with whomever happens to read it, right?)

I had to leave the room at that information, because it was mind boggling.

Today, while I was in class, I got a garbled message that stated several things:
1. I was told 'that they would be happy to welcome me back'
2. They're okay with the cat's situation now.
3. I can have the scooter here, so you can bring it in the van today.

I wasn't sure that I heard them right, so I called back and left a message. I then called the ALF, because I was pretty sure, after three conversations with them, that she would not be returning to them ever.

Of course they were happy about the cat's situation, they didn't have to clean up all the poop he deposited all over the carpet that was brand new when she moved in. (The apartment reeks of poop and cat pee). The thing that irritates me is that once again, we were told 'you need to do this' and were never thanked for doing it. It's assumed that we'll do whatever.

If the objective of her admission to rehabilitation is to get her to walk again, why would they want her to have an electric scooter. She later told me that they said it was okay to use to get to and from physical therapy, but they've got wheelchairs to take her to and from PT.

So, I got a call back from the manager of the ALF. She told Jane "We'd love to have you back, but you would need to be compliant with your doctor's orders-and that hasn't happened yet." She told Jane in a way that didn't beat her over the head that NO, you cannot come back and of course, Jane heard the first part and ignored the second part.

I'm not surprised that she did this. On several occasions, while at the lawyer or doctor with her, she's done an unbelievable job of twisting whatever was said around to have it meet with her concept of what should be happening.

For instance, last year, a doctor discharged her from care 'because you won't do what I tell you anyway' and she soon twisted that around to 'I'm better, so he doesn't need to see me anymore."

Where does this leave us? Stuck with fixing the messes she makes and disgusted with the concept that when it comes to her health, anything else going on in her life at the moment is more important.

The plan now is to cut out the middleman who is garbling the message. We'll talk the those in the know before acting on anything she tells us.


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