Melancholy

The situation unfolding before us is a sad one. Despite seeing the writing on the wall for years and trying to offer help, it sucks when what you knew would eventually happen is staring you in the face.

Jane spends a lot of her day in a fog or sleeping. She knows it and mentioned it to the social worker. Today, the woman told me that she's asked Jane to make some end-of-life decisions.

Living Wills
Advanced Directives
Do Not Resuscitate orders

It's not something you really expect to encounter with a 58 year old woman who has health issues that (in anyone else) could be easily managed.

She has the window side of the room she's been assigned to. This means there is no room for the requested dresser, a table to put the requested television on and no place to put the various knick knacks she wanted from the apartment. Without these things, the terminal decline I've noticed will happen far more rapidly. Even the social worker agrees that Jane is not doing well.

As with all other hospitalizations, Jane's been told it is up to her to get her health back. She says she's depressed about the loss of independence, yet it's her lack of motivation to do anything about her health that caused it. No amount of begging and pleading can change that.

So we watch as the inevitable occurs and are sad at the complete and utter waste.


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