From Bad to Worse

Jane is in the hospital. Again.

This time, she was brought in for low platelets. They are conducting tests, but no results are back yet-except for a positive on the MRSA. So, once again, she's on a Vancomycin IV. How long she'll be there is anyone's guess.

I dropped off a copy of the PoA to the business office Thursday afternoon. When I left the office, she was in the hallway, at the nurse's station a few steps away from where I stood. When I walked over, she was asking me to find out the cat's names. "I beg your pardon?"

She told Ed the night before that they keep three cats in the supply closet just outside her room. She could hear them meowing. What she was telling me that day is that the cats were there to be loaned out. She wanted to 'borrow' one for a couple of hours. Add to this that she said she had TWO roommates, not one, and it's clear that things are not well.

There is one roommate. There are no cats.

But the bad part is that Betsy went over to visit her today-and discovered that she was not there. The nursing home would not release info, and they stated they had no record of the PoA. Apparently, it was still sitting in the business office. The information they had was that my mother in law was Jane's daughter-and the disconnected house phone number for here. I'd spoken to the social worker Thursday afternoon around 2pm (she called me, so she has my number), no one called to inform us they were transporting her.

A trip over to the hospital reveals that she's still really out of it. They now have a Medical proxy on file with my name on it. A brief conversation with the three nurses on that unit later, they had their questions answered and cautiously told me what was going on, until I started stating "terminal decline." It made it clear that I have an understanding of what probably lies ahead.

We're all on the same page.

Then a trip over to the nursing home, where I spoke to the nurse that I called to find out what was going on and got to release the information, once they tracked down the PoA. I gave them a second PoA to keep in her file, and they removed the contact info sheet that was clearly out of date.

Shell shocked from the visit with Jane and some things she said, I voiced my very real concern that she wouldn't be back there. The nurses that had seen her agreed, all saying things like "I can't believe she's only 58." Two had the conversation with me that, as PoA, I probably will be asked to sign the advance directive or DNR that they asked Jane to complete two weeks ago.

There was neither in her files. Once again, Jane chose to ignore a direct request and I'm left with a crappy decision. One that I hate having to do, but knowing in my heart that it's the right one. It doesn't make it any easier.

So now we wait. Days, weeks, months, I have no idea. We hesitate on moving anything into the nursing home, like the requested dresser, only to move it out when the inevitable occurs.

This sucks.


meghan said…
I love you. Even though it sucks, just know that you're making the right decision for Jane since she is unable to make it for herself. Unfortunately, knowing that doesn't make it any easier.
Saffa Chick said…
Oh wow. You poor things. How terrible that this should fall on you. My thoughts are with you at this distressing time (hugs)

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