In Matters of the Heart, Sometimes Technology Really Bites
Today, the tale of a friend's current situation. Some names are changed to protect identities, but I was told that it was okay to share the jerk's name.
Back in my day, when a guy was being a selfish pig, a jerk or just yanking a girl's chain, he only had the phone or letters as alternatives to face to face communication. The addition of technology is a beautiful thing in many ways-but a curse in others, like what I'm about to tell.
The players:
Adam -27 year old guy
Betty-27 year old girl
Veronica-also a 20-something.
Several years ago, through mutual friends, Adam and Betty met and became friends themselves. They shared many common interests-but each was dating other people. They agreed that they would make a very good couple, but the timing is wrong.
Adam later meets and marries Veronica and moves out of state.
Veronica commands Adam to break ties with all female friends, particularly Betty. She feels threatened by Betty, even though Betty is not the type to move in on another girl's man.
This upset Betty greatly.
Two years pass. Out of the blue, an email from Veronica shows up in her in box: "Tell me exactly what went on with you and Adam before he married me." Betty emails Adam to ask WTF, especially since they hadn't been in contact for all this time.
Adam emails Betty back that, after 2.5 years of marriage, things are very bad and he told Veronica about his and Betty's past together-which Veronica doesn't believe.
Adam has played the role of cad to perfection this week. He sent Betty multiple emails, professing that he had loved Betty all this time, wanted to spend his life with Betty and wanted to move hundreds of miles to be with her. Then, a couple/three days later, he renounces all of his words and tells her he wants nothing to do with her.
This sounds like the stuff of high school hallways, not a so-called adult who was mature enough (ha) to get married. It is bad enough for a teenage guy to do this type of thing to his teenage girlfriend, but from an adult? Ridiculous
After talking about it a couple of times today, Betty's in a better place about the whole thing. She won't put up with games, but she wants to know what the heck he was thinking when he wrote all those emails? All Adam had to do when Betty sent the email inquiry is "Sorry, I told Veronica about our past. Beyond that, I can't talk right now."
This is where I think technology bites. Back when Adam was in diapers, a guy had to call a girl to break up with her-or send a letter. It took time for one of those to show up in her mailbox. None of this crap with sending multiple emails over a few days and then renouncing everything in them. Back in those days, if you put it in writing, it could be waved in your face that you wrote it-because it was your handwriting.
Back in my day, when a guy was being a selfish pig, a jerk or just yanking a girl's chain, he only had the phone or letters as alternatives to face to face communication. The addition of technology is a beautiful thing in many ways-but a curse in others, like what I'm about to tell.
The players:
Adam -27 year old guy
Betty-27 year old girl
Veronica-also a 20-something.
Several years ago, through mutual friends, Adam and Betty met and became friends themselves. They shared many common interests-but each was dating other people. They agreed that they would make a very good couple, but the timing is wrong.
Adam later meets and marries Veronica and moves out of state.
Veronica commands Adam to break ties with all female friends, particularly Betty. She feels threatened by Betty, even though Betty is not the type to move in on another girl's man.
This upset Betty greatly.
Two years pass. Out of the blue, an email from Veronica shows up in her in box: "Tell me exactly what went on with you and Adam before he married me." Betty emails Adam to ask WTF, especially since they hadn't been in contact for all this time.
Adam emails Betty back that, after 2.5 years of marriage, things are very bad and he told Veronica about his and Betty's past together-which Veronica doesn't believe.
Adam has played the role of cad to perfection this week. He sent Betty multiple emails, professing that he had loved Betty all this time, wanted to spend his life with Betty and wanted to move hundreds of miles to be with her. Then, a couple/three days later, he renounces all of his words and tells her he wants nothing to do with her.
This sounds like the stuff of high school hallways, not a so-called adult who was mature enough (ha) to get married. It is bad enough for a teenage guy to do this type of thing to his teenage girlfriend, but from an adult? Ridiculous
After talking about it a couple of times today, Betty's in a better place about the whole thing. She won't put up with games, but she wants to know what the heck he was thinking when he wrote all those emails? All Adam had to do when Betty sent the email inquiry is "Sorry, I told Veronica about our past. Beyond that, I can't talk right now."
This is where I think technology bites. Back when Adam was in diapers, a guy had to call a girl to break up with her-or send a letter. It took time for one of those to show up in her mailbox. None of this crap with sending multiple emails over a few days and then renouncing everything in them. Back in those days, if you put it in writing, it could be waved in your face that you wrote it-because it was your handwriting.
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