Friday, December 27, 2013

A Lifetime Ago

IMing with a friend who is going through some friendship issues right now, and offering some advice that one gains from personal experience. We're talking about when it's time to cut your losses and move on. While my experience is different from hers in several ways, the core issue is pretty much the same, and we are discussing how bottling up your feelings doesn't change the situation and really isn't good for a person.

In talking, I realize that so much has changed in my life when I made the decision to walk away from a friendship. Back then, it really sucked, because I had very few friends in my circle, due to the situation with GameTeen (I really limited who was around him back then) and the thought of losing just one was difficult. Since then, though, other friends from that time have become much more peripheral and you know what? I'm okay with that.

The subsequent years have brought losses, many more gains and a very different outlook on life after dealing with the health bullshit and unemployment drama. I find myself in a much more zen place about friendships, that they come and go. Even the good ones go through phases of missed connections. And sometimes, we go through these experiences so that when another friend is dealing with the hurt, we can tell her that 'Yep, it hurts, but it won't hurt forever.'

It just changes your perspective.

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