Y'all know what I hate, right?
Today, I was both. I was supposed to be at work at 7am to adequately prepare for the design class we were giving. My cell phone rang at 8am to find out where the hell I was. Strike one, I look like an ass, and strike two, I'm NOT GOING TO BE PREPARED! Frantic, I run around the house dropping numerous F bombs and get out the door in 10 minutes. I walk into work 20 minutes before the classes would start.
Now, to those who sat through my classes, they probably thought it was okay. Okay. That's not what they deserved. I needed to wow them with the products I demonstrated and my expertise with the design. If I'd been there on time, I would have nailed it.
Couple that with the frustration with myself that continued to mount with each subsequent group I taught and you probably get an idea of how I felt.
Boss says I did okay. I wanted to be fantastic and amazing (and I know I wasn't). Instead, I was told did okay in spite of showing up an hour and forty minutes late.
There is so much riding on these classes. We have to show corporate that the customers respond to them by purchasing what we're demonstrating-and I know my product grouping didn't do that today. We burned a lot of payroll, a lot was riding on it and I didn't pull my weight.
My head was not handed to me and I wasn't told to take a hike. However, I do believe it will be a long time before this event will be forgotten. I would be livid if the situation were reversed, and I suspect my boss was holding her anger with me because she could see that I was far angrier with myself than anyone else could ever be.