Riding the waves

It has been a very emotional and exhausting two days.

When we got to the hospital yesterday morning, Mom was in horrible shape. One of the nurses got her up in a chair and she was in pain and looked so frail and confused. If you'd told me that she wouldn't make it through the day, I would have believed you. As the day went on, she improved and by 6pm, she was happy and chipper.

Today, we got there, and while she hadn't slipped as far back as where she was yesterday morning, she never perked up to the level she was at Monday night. She's fading in and out of consciousness more and is becoming less coherent. My sister and I made the decision that one of us will stay with her at all times, because she'll ring for a nurse and once they get there, forget why she called. My sister took the night shift, and I'll go back over as soon as I get the kids off to school and send her to get some rest.

The good news that we did receive today was that there is no tumor and no blood clots in her brain. They've begun treatment with blood thinners for the pulmonary embolism she does have. I'm well acquainted with blood thinners, so I'll be able to keep an eye on that situation. However, that doesn't explain the confusion that she has been having-she didn't have a stroke.

These types of situations bring out the best or the worst in people. I'm seeing the worst from my eldest sister. She's on a power trip, lording information over other siblings and telling them my Mom doesn't want to see them.

One sister was told Mom doesn't want to talk to her (not true), and she called all the hospitals in Mom's city to track her down-spent an hour on the phone trying. I hadn't talked to her since New Year's '99, and don't have any bad blood with her. We've had a couple of good, long conversations, and the upshot of all of that is that I will NOT keep anyone out of the loop on Mom's situation and prognosis. By doing this, my eldest sister can't spin her lies and manipulate the situation. There is far more to this story, but I'd need about ten hours to write it all down.

The life lessons mom gave her kids every day: your life can really be miserable, you can be dealt a rotten hand, people can treat you like dirt, but you can't dwell on the bad stuff. You can't change the past, so don't wallow in it. And above all else, no matter how bad you may think you've got things, there's someone out there who's in worse shape than you are.

When my dad passed away fourteen years ago, the lesson I learned is that money and objects don't make you happy, spending the time with the ones you love while they are alive does. I really wished a couple of my siblings could comprehend this. Unfortunately, they're more concerned with who gets what object. My younger sister and I just want time.

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