Sacrifices
As I kid, I don't know when I learned my first lesson in making sacrifices to please others. I don't think I had to make that many when I was little.
Our younger son has had to make quite a few for being so young. He didn't bargain to have an older brother with special needs, but he has one. This means that foods he'd like, activities he'd like to do and places he'd like to go all go through the test of "Can my brother do this/have this?" Far too many times, the answer is no. To his credit, he may be upset, but he doesn't complain too much. He just realizes its part and parcel of our lives.
Scouting is something he rallied for big time. He REALLY wanted to do it, and wasn't going to be swayed by the argument that his brother couldn't do it. To his credit, he even got his brother excited about it. I honestly thought it would be HIS activity, but his big brother proved me wrong. While not as gung ho, he does look forward to Tuesday nights and works just as hard on his requirements.
Scouting means family time. For younger son, it means one on one mom time. He's my 'mush' and worships mommy. I know this won't last forever, so I do what I can now. Tuesday nights have meant he does an activity with me.
We had a ceremony for the Webelos tonight who are moving up into Boy Scouts. Older son fully completed all the requirements, however, we requested that he wait a year. While he's made great strides in maturity this year, he's not quite ready to be in a boy-lead group. The one year may make all the difference and it may not mean anything, BUT we're going to give it a try.
Ed is the assistant leader of the Webelos 2 this year and played a big part in conducting the ceremony, so we all went to this ceremony to support the three boys moving up. To our surprise, older son was included in the ceremony-and given a compass to signify that he will be leading the other Webelos to the Arrow of Light next year.
While preparations for the ceremony were happening, I was there with Ed, the boys, our Cubmaster, the former cubmaster and the Webelos den leader. Some of the conversation was about my recently completed leader training. I'd asked about some software (Scout tracker) and talked of some ideas I had for son's den next year.
However, after the ceremony, which some of the leaders and kids attended, I come to find something that upset me. As I said, the leader of younger son's den expressed interest in swapping roles next year-I'd be leader and she'd be committee member. She and her spouse (who sporadically participates in our group) decided instead that spouse would lead, I'd assist and she'd be committee member. WHAT? No, this was NOT the conversation we had at any time. In fact, when they came into our room with the flyer for me to take my leader training class, the conversation came up yet again that I'd lead next year.
I spoke with the Cubmaster and made no bones about the fact that I was furious. Had I known this would be the case, I would have sent Ed for his neccessary training last week. Cubmaster stated he needed a Webelos 1 leader next year. If Ed didn't have to be with older son, he'd do it-but at this stage of the game, one of us should be there to reign him in.
After I calmed down (a little-I'm still pissed), I had a conversation with son. He wasn't happy with the change in plans, but once again, he's making the sacrifice. The activity that was supposed to be for him *with* me isn't going to be.
It's probably better this way. I don't want my personal disgust with the situation to create tension in a room with the two other people. However, it does cause them an issue. At the beginning of this year, they weren't the most reliable people and failed to show up for several weeks on end. Additionally, one of them often decides she 'doesn't feel like' being there-and she's the one who will lead next year. That's no longer an option, as den meetings are supposed to always be 'two deep' with leaders.
I'm proud of my son. He made yet another sacrifice and did it without complaining, even though it was obvious how he felt. I need to let go of my anger and disappointment-because I enjoyed having 'our time' as much as he did. I doubt the two leaders realize how much sacrifice he already makes in his life and that he made another one tonight.
Our younger son has had to make quite a few for being so young. He didn't bargain to have an older brother with special needs, but he has one. This means that foods he'd like, activities he'd like to do and places he'd like to go all go through the test of "Can my brother do this/have this?" Far too many times, the answer is no. To his credit, he may be upset, but he doesn't complain too much. He just realizes its part and parcel of our lives.
Scouting is something he rallied for big time. He REALLY wanted to do it, and wasn't going to be swayed by the argument that his brother couldn't do it. To his credit, he even got his brother excited about it. I honestly thought it would be HIS activity, but his big brother proved me wrong. While not as gung ho, he does look forward to Tuesday nights and works just as hard on his requirements.
Scouting means family time. For younger son, it means one on one mom time. He's my 'mush' and worships mommy. I know this won't last forever, so I do what I can now. Tuesday nights have meant he does an activity with me.
We had a ceremony for the Webelos tonight who are moving up into Boy Scouts. Older son fully completed all the requirements, however, we requested that he wait a year. While he's made great strides in maturity this year, he's not quite ready to be in a boy-lead group. The one year may make all the difference and it may not mean anything, BUT we're going to give it a try.
Ed is the assistant leader of the Webelos 2 this year and played a big part in conducting the ceremony, so we all went to this ceremony to support the three boys moving up. To our surprise, older son was included in the ceremony-and given a compass to signify that he will be leading the other Webelos to the Arrow of Light next year.
While preparations for the ceremony were happening, I was there with Ed, the boys, our Cubmaster, the former cubmaster and the Webelos den leader. Some of the conversation was about my recently completed leader training. I'd asked about some software (Scout tracker) and talked of some ideas I had for son's den next year.
However, after the ceremony, which some of the leaders and kids attended, I come to find something that upset me. As I said, the leader of younger son's den expressed interest in swapping roles next year-I'd be leader and she'd be committee member. She and her spouse (who sporadically participates in our group) decided instead that spouse would lead, I'd assist and she'd be committee member. WHAT? No, this was NOT the conversation we had at any time. In fact, when they came into our room with the flyer for me to take my leader training class, the conversation came up yet again that I'd lead next year.
I spoke with the Cubmaster and made no bones about the fact that I was furious. Had I known this would be the case, I would have sent Ed for his neccessary training last week. Cubmaster stated he needed a Webelos 1 leader next year. If Ed didn't have to be with older son, he'd do it-but at this stage of the game, one of us should be there to reign him in.
After I calmed down (a little-I'm still pissed), I had a conversation with son. He wasn't happy with the change in plans, but once again, he's making the sacrifice. The activity that was supposed to be for him *with* me isn't going to be.
It's probably better this way. I don't want my personal disgust with the situation to create tension in a room with the two other people. However, it does cause them an issue. At the beginning of this year, they weren't the most reliable people and failed to show up for several weeks on end. Additionally, one of them often decides she 'doesn't feel like' being there-and she's the one who will lead next year. That's no longer an option, as den meetings are supposed to always be 'two deep' with leaders.
I'm proud of my son. He made yet another sacrifice and did it without complaining, even though it was obvious how he felt. I need to let go of my anger and disappointment-because I enjoyed having 'our time' as much as he did. I doubt the two leaders realize how much sacrifice he already makes in his life and that he made another one tonight.
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