Suzanne Calling

As we get older, our world view changes. In my case, my world is expanding in one way, while the family ties are dwindling. We've had losses over the past few years that really change perspectives on what is important. My mom. Ed's mom. Ed's sisters. My niece's son, born too early this past October. Family by proxy is encountering an end of life journey with Hospice. (Ironically, they came to our family via Jane, who severed ties with the person who is in his last days.) Today is a day that has caused me to reflect. The moms no longer with us, the friends who want so desperately to be called 'Mom' that probably won't have that opportunity. I'm pretty darn fortunate that not just once, but twice, I was able to bring a baby to term. Healthy babies, though if they knew I wrote the word 'baby' to describe them, they'd each be annoyed, so fast they are traveling away from that moniker. While I think of the sadness that the day can bring...

The music of Mom. If you're the average person, certain songs are flashbacks to certain times and events in your life. Other songs remind you of friends you've lost touch with years before, the summer hanging out at the pool or hours spent assembling/disassembling sets from one college production after another. Meanwhile, there are songs that are stamped indelibly with loved ones that years later, you can't help but smile when you hear them, no matter hokey they may be. And so it is with my Mom. Mom loved music. If you came into our house and Mom was there, the radio was on. Sometimes, it was 'Beautiful Music' or 'The Music of Your Life', AKA the elevator music stations (WHLI and WKJY, if my memory serves me well). Those were typically on when Mom wanted music, but was probably thinking through stuff or needed to concentrate on a sewing project or tax return for a friend. More often than not, it'd be tuned to an easy listening station and you'd...

The ones left behind We took Bill out for his birthday last night. While it was a nice meal out, it left me sad. The kids adore Grandpa Bill, and enjoy going over there. He is always quite happy to see Chef, his little buddy. Those joyous greetings make me feel guilty that we don’t bring them to see him more frequently. Right after Mom passed away, he talked of moving back to New York. He really has no ties down here and if had his way, they never would have moved to Florida full time. I know why she did it-to escape my squabbling siblings who lived to bleed her bank account dry. She sold the house, in a way to prevent Scorpio (need a better name), the champion freeloader from thinking she could live in the house rent free while Mom and Bill were in Florida. Mom left some mysteries in the wake of her death. She sold the house and by Bill’s accounts, should have had a decent amount of money in the bank. If she did, he never uncovered it. I think that Scorpio (who had authoriz...

Funeral mass was very nice. It was in a small chapel at the Catholic Church near the funeral home. The priest, since Mom wasn't a member of his parish, took a very nice approach. He asked the congregation "What comes to mind first when you think of Joanie?" Younger sister and I both said "her smile", and he asked sis to elaborate. I then said her generosity, because she'd give anyone the shirt off her back and wouldn't let anyone spend a holday alone. One of her neighbors mentioned that Mom stood up for what was right. Another her laughter. And her intelligence, caring and warmth. It was very personal and touching. Stepdad did beautifully. Mom's gravesite is under palm trees, near the pond, with some flowering bushes nearby-all things Mom loved. Graveside was less than ten minutes, and Stepdad invited everyone to lunch at Macaroni Grill. We toasted Mom and said her grace and had a nice hour talking and reminiscing. Mom would have loved it.