When

Not if.

When you deal in chronic issues, you learn to expect the other shoe to drop, because it will drop. You just don't know when.

For some chronic issues, the people who have them know how to avoid the 'when'. Managing their diet, getting enough sleep, avoiding places with blinking lights. Basically, knowing the triggers that change the situation from 'if' to 'now'.

Until now, I've had four 'when' episodes. Two earned me a pass because they happened right after surgery. I've had extra at bats with my doctor, a ball four when it should have been a strike, walked instead of being struck out.

Until today, that is.

There was a stinging in my ankle earlier today, a burning sensation that made me think I might have had a bug bite-but there was none. The leg felt a little warm when I rubbed on it, but I didn't realize it until later, when I was in the restroom outside the classroom, the brightly lit one-where I saw my ankle.

The bright red one. The stinging one. The warm one.

The one that surely has a clot in it.

My stupid leg has done it again. I doubt I'll be walked again. Strike five.

Hello, lifetime blood thinners. Hello daily reminder that I need to avoid the whens.